Releasing Shame: a 3 step start

Trauma is quite the buzz word these days, but what is it and what does it mean?? As a trauma informed yoga therapist I have come to recognize that there are 2 kinds of trauma… the T trauma like abuse, abandonment, loss, etc… and the t trauma which can be things like school bullying and absent parents. Both kinds of trauma can impact your body and both kinds of trauma lead to shame.

Trauma in any form causes you to believe something shameful about yourself. I call this shame the shadow. The shadow begins when the trauma occurs, and can either grow or shrink depending on your resilience toward shadow and the light of the experiences that you have going forward. For example, you might be bullied at school and called ugly by a group, but it’s effect on you is minimal because you have good friends and a loving and supportive family who all make you feel beautiful and shine light into your life. As life moved on however, you never got a date to a school dance, you never had a boyfriend, you find yourself at the weddings of all your friends and begin to think “what is wrong with me” and that shadow that started all those years ago on at school begins to grow. You decide your life experience lines up with what that initial trauma taught you, you are ugly, and that shame shadow begins to overtake all the light inside of you, it begins to become your truth.

How do you fight the shadow of shame? With the light.

The first most important, number one thing you can do to begin living with less shame today is to shine the light on it.

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Step one: Talk about it with someone you love and trust to be safe, or write about whatever you feel shame about in a journal. Once the words escape your mind they hold much less power. They are shadow being exposed to the light. Once the words are out there, they can begin to resonate as false. You say, “I am so ugly” and just the very words out loud in the light show their true color as lies.

Step two: Once the shame is exposed, in order to let it go, you must replace it with truth. You can ask your trusted someone to help you with this, or you can pray and hand these lies to Jesus asking Him to replace them with His thoughts of you. However you proceed, replacing your shadow with light is the most necessary next step. For more information on how to do this form of healing prayer, you can download my e-book HERE.

Step three: Repeat. This is not one and done sisters, shame is cyclical and these patterns, lies, and shadows have been a part of you, part of who you have believed yourself to be but now know that you are not. Write down your truth, remember the light, and when the shadow of shame begins to creep in again you have the tools you need to combat it immediately.

You are powerful, you have the light in you that you need, healing is for you if you want it and take the steps it requires of you. I would love to continue this journey with you over on instagram @beautifulandbeloved see you there!

In light and love,


Amber Newberry